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Intricate feelings by ~7gyps:icon7gyps:



Intricate feelings


I surrender to the eyes of your passionate color
Entering a powerful struggle, now losing all my valor
Your intensity is so for filling  
Knowing that that isn’t merely everything

When you are around me
Your seductive voice entices my every move
Forcing my body to approve
Running chills up and down my spine
Now holding hands all fingers entwine

I gasp for air in every grasp of your hand  
This feeling is too much to withstand
Let me breath – let me relax- let me enjoy
I want to break away from what you employ

When you look at me
Your smile is irresistible, still making me blush
And yes, I look away in an embarrassing rush  
I’ll put you away locked in my heart and memories
And hope you never fade from my mind of many possibilities

Y.P.S
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:icon7gyps:

Author's Comments

I love writing poetry - but if there is usefull criticism - I absolutely would like to be familiar with your thoughts and opinions. (Feel free to do so) thanKs

Comments


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:iconsheltari:
*gulps* This puts lots of my stuff to shame...if the first stanza rhymed, it would flow better in my opinion, but that's all I say that can improve. The rhyming words were of good quality.

--
How can freedom be so binding?
:icon7gyps:
AWW thanx - umm yea - i'm not much of a poem decoder - i just write for the fun of it - or just to get my emotions transmitted somewhere else. I very much apreciate your feed back - THANX YOU SO MUCH!

--
Face what you are not getting, and what you are profoundly hungry for!
:icon7gyps:
Ha!!! I just realized I misunderstood the critique-
But NOW I understand and therefore I have edited my poem in order to make my first stanza rhyme- & I’m happy for the upgrade- lol

--
Face what you are not getting, and what you are profoundly hungry for!
:iconsheltari:
No problem. We're all here to help each other, aren't we?

--
How can freedom be so binding?

Details

April 26, 2007
1.0 KB

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